Chapter Two: Loving You for Ten Thousand Years

Upon hearing those words, Geng Haoshi was instantly invigorated, as if injected with adrenaline, and shouted loudly, “I’ve been waiting for you to say that!”
“Very well, Master. The solution is: pick up the ball and hurl it at the tall guy’s face with all your strength… then run for your life.”
“…” Geng Haoshi was left speechless yet again; this sort of situation seemed to have occurred many times already…
No matter! Rather than stand here and let him humiliate me, it’s better to go out with a bang!
With this thought, Geng Haoshi felt power surge through his entire body. He strode towards the basketball still rolling on the ground.
With a flick of his toe, Geng Haoshi deftly bounced the ball up from the ground.
A gust of wind swept by…
“Mournful winds sweep the River Yi, and the warrior departs never to return!” he recited, then flung the ball violently at the tall guy’s face!
Bang!
The tall guy was caught completely off-guard and struck right in the face!
“Run!” the system commanded.
Alright, I’ll run! Geng Haoshi bolted from the basketball court at top speed.
The tall guy, stunned for a few seconds after being hit, finally regained his senses and, furious, chased after Geng Haoshi…
“Dear Master, the tall guy is closing in on you.”
This was the most desperate sprint of Geng Haoshi’s life, as if he were running for his very existence!
Wait—didn’t I remember there’s a trash bin around the corner ahead? Geng Haoshi had an idea.
When the tall guy reached the corner, he looked around but saw no trace of Geng Haoshi anywhere.
“Hmph! You fat fool! You got away this time, but next time I see you, I’ll tear you apart!” With that, he vented his frustration by kicking the green recycling bin, then left in a huff.
Some time passed.
A commotion stirred inside the green recycling bin…
“Phew—finally that idiot tall guy is gone.” The lid was knocked aside, and Geng Haoshi stretched his muscles inside the bin.
“I’ve spent too much energy this time, better hurry back and catch up on sleep.” With this, Geng Haoshi struggled out of the trash bin.
Back in his dormitory, Geng Haoshi collapsed onto his bed and fell into a deep sleep.
He didn’t know how long he slept before he suddenly awoke from a dream.
“Ah—my goddess!” Glancing at the time on his phone, Geng Haoshi felt as if the sky had fallen…
After mentally picturing all kinds of wonderful scenes meeting Miss Cang, he recalled the true culprit who’d made him miss this intimate encounter with his goddess!
“9527, get out here right now!”
“Dear Master, the 9527 Super Dunk System is at your service. I’m sorry to inform you, but as a system, I cannot physically come out.”
“You dare talk back! You’re really something, huh! Tell me, why did you trick me into thinking I could meet my goddess as soon as I agreed?”
Having slept, Geng Haoshi’s mind was much clearer, and he remembered how he’d been duped by this system at the start.
“Dear Master, this is a built-in function from my factory settings: to bind myself to you at any cost.”
“…”
“Master, are you speechless again?”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Master, communication is the only way to resolve disputes.”
“…”
“Master, are you out of battery?”
“Out of battery, my foot!” Geng Haoshi finally exploded, “Get out of my head, now!”
“Master, since you’ve successfully bound with me, the binding cannot be released during the effective period.”
“…How long is that?”
“Ten thousand years.”
“Damn! Am I supposed to live ten thousand years? Is this a vow of life and death?”
“…Yes, Master.”
Geng Haoshi wished he could stab himself in the forehead and drag this damned system out to kill it.
Since reality couldn’t be changed, Geng Haoshi had no choice but to accept.
“Why was there a task involving hitting someone with a ball?” This seemed unrelated to any dunk system, and Geng Haoshi, who’d nearly gotten himself killed, couldn’t comprehend it.
“…”
“Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Master, actually, that was a task I accidentally issued…”
“…”
“…”
“Accidentally? Damn you!” Geng Haoshi began scratching his head frantically, as if he could claw the system out.
“Master, I apologize. Although I only took punitive measures due to your rudeness and arrogance… even if it was your fault first… I should still apologize.”
Geng Haoshi was too exhausted to complain anymore. “Heh… forget it… what do you really want?”
“Dear Master, you finally asked the right question.”
“I am an embedded, multi-threaded, extraterrestrial synchronized high-intelligence sports system from the planet Mudbean Bay. By completing a series of system tasks, I will help you achieve extraordinary accomplishments in basketball.”
“…Mudbean Bay? Planet?…” It sounded like ‘Just Kidding Planet’—could he really be getting played?
Bringing his thoughts back, Geng Haoshi asked, “Do you have any embedded programs like Hanamichi Sakuragi or Rukawa Kaede? The kind of code that makes me a slam dunk master in an instant?”
“…Master, you mean directly inputting the physical talent data of Hanamichi Sakuragi or Rukawa Kaede into your body, making you a slam dunk master?”
“Mm-hmm,” Geng Haoshi nodded repeatedly, his face full of excitement, as if he would instantly become Sakuragi or Rukawa and dominate the school’s beauties.
“…Master… I suggest you stop reading those childish, brainless system novels where the protagonist is possessed by a master, reigns supreme, defeats invincible foes, and is swarmed by adoring beauties.”
“…”
“…”
“Aren’t you the so-called super invincible dunk system? And you dare call others childish and brainless!”
“…Master, I’m not a super invincible dunk system… I’m a super dunk system…”
“…”
“…”
“So you really don’t have that kind of system? Can’t you check with the main system again?” Geng Haoshi wasn’t ready to give up.
“…Master… such systems do exist… but… they’re my competitors…”
“Oh, competitors. So which of you is more powerful?”
“…At present, it is more powerful…” The system sounded reluctant.
“Oh?” Geng Haoshi’s face was full of contempt.
“…But it has some undesirable side effects, which I do not!” The system was indignant.
“Enough with the nonsense. Which of you has higher sales?”
“…It does…”
“Heh heh…” Geng Haoshi wore a look of triumphant scheming.
“Dear Master, with your luck, like ordering tomato and egg at the cafeteria only to find your bowl full of tomato skins, do you think it’s coincidence you obtained my free service?”
“Why?”
“…” The system hadn’t expected him to actually ask, “Because you are the 222,222,222nd lucky user…”
“…”
“…”
“Damn!” From the start, Geng Haoshi felt something was off—222,222,222 lucky users, that was obviously a sign it wasn’t selling at all!
“Dear Master, if you truly want to immediately acquire Sakuragi’s talent data, there is one way…”
“Really?! What is it? Tell me, hurry, tell me!” Geng Haoshi began fantasizing about his own Haruko Akagi.
“Master, just dye your hair red like Sakuragi’s…”
“Really?!” Geng Haoshi’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest from excitement.
“…Just kidding…”
“…”
“Master, do you need me to schedule an appointment with the neurology department for you?”
“…”
“…”
Angry and embarrassed, Geng Haoshi began banging his head fiercely against his duvet, which hadn’t been washed in over two years…
“Master, please accept your first task.”
“…First task? Didn’t I just…” As he spoke, Geng Haoshi remembered that the so-called first task he’d just completed had only been impulsively issued by this pitiful system, and he was immediately filled with despair, banging his head even more…
“Master, whether you accept it or not, the task will automatically enter countdown mode. If not completed within the specified time, you will receive an electric shock penalty.”
“If it doesn’t matter whether I accept, why bother pretending to ask me to accept anything!”
“…”
Suddenly, a current passed through Geng Haoshi’s body, and he fell backward, convulsing…
After about five seconds, Geng Haoshi sat up, trembling, and wiped the saliva from his mouth with a shaky left hand…
“Sorry, Master. The main system was just attacked by alien hackers, so the electric shock penalty was automatically activated… Are you alright, Master?”
Attacked by hackers? Automatically activated? Do you take me for a fool! He clearly heard robotic snickering inside his head… Deliberately activated the shock and pretended to be innocent, I…
Geng Haoshi was about to curse, but then thought: No, I’m out in the open, it’s hidden. I can’t confront it directly, or who knows when it’ll play me to death…
“Ahem… From now on, I’ll call you 9527, alright?”
“Dear Master, of course. 9527 will cherish and protect you with ten thousand years of love.”
“…Fine… then tell me about this first task…” Damn you, if I have to live ten thousand years with you, I’d rather lose those ten thousand years! Geng Haoshi cursed inwardly.
“Very well, Master. Your first task: within one month, train yourself to develop eight-pack abs.”
“…Me…train myself?”
“Yes, Master.”
“…And you…do what?”
“I supervise you completing the task, Master.”
“…”
“…”
“You’re not going to help at all, are you?!” Geng Haoshi couldn’t stand it any longer; he simply couldn’t have a pleasant conversation with this bizarre system!
“…”
A familiar current flowed through Geng Haoshi’s body…
“Master, the system was attacked by hackers again just now.”
“…”