Chapter 43: Have You Been Happy All These Years Away from Me?

Almost as soon as she moved closer, the man on the sofa suddenly opened his eyes. Startled, Lin Xi’s raised hand trembled. “Third Brother, go upstairs and rest.”

There were plenty of empty rooms at her grandparents’ house. Back when her uncle and she hadn’t left the country, the place had been somewhat lively. Now, only her two grandparents and an aunt lived here.

The man’s eyes were half-closed, as if he’d been put on pause, staring at her unblinkingly. His gaze was intense, making Lin Xi’s cheeks flush and her thoughts scatter.

Seeing him unmoved, Lin Xi thought he hadn’t heard her. She bent down a little further and repeated softly, “Third Brother, it’s very late. The trip back to Beijing will take over an hour. Grandmother said you should stay here tonight. Let me help you to your room.”

Her voice was much gentler than usual, as tender as when she was slowly relearning to speak years ago. She made no deliberate effort, yet her tone was sweet and delicate, tugging at the heartstrings.

After speaking, she reached out and gripped his arm, applying a bit of force. But the man beneath her didn’t budge.

Sensing he might be doing it on purpose, Lin Xi looked up, feigning annoyance. “Get up.”

They locked eyes for a few seconds—Lin Xi couldn’t tell whether he was pretending or not, so she could only muster more patience, coaxing him as she tried to help him up.

After two or three minutes, Lin Xi finally flung off his hand. “Qin Yu!”

Upon hearing his name, the man finally moved. His lashes lifted, and his smiling eyes fixed on her, taking all of her in. Lin Xi was taken aback for a moment.

She knew that smile too well.

Qin Yu wasn’t someone who smiled easily—an earnest smile like this was even rarer. The time she remembered most clearly was when she had softly recited his name to him.

He had looked at her in just this way, smiling, his soulful eyes half-squinting, shining like starlight, holding only her in their depths. It gave the illusion of a man gazing upon his one true love.

Even now, Lin Xi couldn’t withstand the power of that smile. Her heart thudded wildly; her numb limbs seemed to be infused with new blood, trembling uncontrollably from the force of her heartbeat.

Just as before, the thoughts of a young girl grew wild, like weeds in a deserted summer night. Danger flared before her, a blaze ready to engulf all—yet, knowing the risks, she still wanted to draw closer...

Her hand, hanging at her side, was gently hooked into his warm fingers. Her delicate, boneless little hand was wrapped in his, caressed as if he were toying with a rare treasure, his fingertips imprinting his warmth on her knuckles and the back of her hand.

Every spot he touched tingled acutely. Lin Xi was lost in the depths of his dark, fathomless eyes, unable to escape. Her fingers, toyed with in his palm, curled slightly, barely clutching his hand in return.

For a moment, she didn’t know if she wanted to hold his hand back—or stop him.

He sensed her response nonetheless, pausing his caress, tilting his head a little in confusion as he looked at her.

Her heart pounded furiously; under his gaze, Lin Xi’s breath grew ragged.

Her grandparents were in the kitchen, arguing as they brewed a hangover cure. Hearing the voices, she gripped Qin Yu’s hand tightly.

Unlike her earlier tentative touch, this time she held on firmly, passing the warmth and dampness of her palm to him.

The man’s long lashes shivered violently. Typically reserved, he now looked up in bewilderment.

But as he looked again, Lin Xi’s face was calm. She gripped his hand and tried to pull him up. “It’s time to go upstairs. If you don’t get up now, I’ll leave you here.”

Her words were like a bucket of cold water, dousing the flames that had just begun to kindle.

Qin Yu swayed as he stood. Lin Xi quickly steadied him, her hand supporting his back. “Lean on me.”

“Alright.” He didn’t stand on ceremony, his tall figure pressing down, shifting most of his weight onto her slender frame.

Lin Xi frowned, guiding him upstairs.

Fortunately, he was cooperative this time. Aside from moving a little slowly, he wasn’t as difficult as she’d expected.

The staircase in her grandparents’ house was long.

Afraid he might trip, Lin Xi instructed him as they climbed. They were already close, and with each step, his head came so near it nearly brushed her cheek. She could clearly hear his uneven breathing, feel the hot, alcohol-laden air he exhaled against her cheek and the side of her neck.

During those few minutes on the stairs, the flush on Lin Xi’s face crept down to her neck and ears. It was even more agonizing than before.

Qin Yu glanced down casually, his eyes landing on her fair skin tinged with a delicate red.

Especially her earlobes—so red they seemed about to bleed, tempting him to bite and savor them over and over.

At last, she managed to get him to the guest room. Lin Xi helped him sit by the bed and let out a sigh of relief.

With one hand on her hip, she looked him over. “Wait here. I’ll go get you some hangover soup.”

The housekeeper had gone home after preparing dinner, and it was far too late to trouble her grandparents. This unlucky task naturally fell to her.

“Xi Xi.”

She had barely turned away when Qin Yu called out to her.

His voice, soaked in alcohol, was hoarse and magnetic, stirring her blood. It was like the glass of iced orange soda she’d had that evening—cool and bubbling, the fizz rising endlessly, each sip tinged with a hint of bitterness. The bursting bubbles tickled her throat, both sour and sweet.

Compelled by some mysterious force, Lin Xi turned back, her face expressionless. “What is it?”

Qin Yu was still smiling, his hand—adorned with a sandalwood bracelet—patting the spot beside him. “Sit with me for a while.”

...

After a two-minute standoff, Lin Xi sat at the edge of the bed, leaving two fist-widths between them.

As soon as she sat down, she regretted it, staring blankly out the window in a daze.

It was late; the house was silent. Outside, the bright moon climbed the treetops, its light swaying gently. The old pagoda tree in the yard rustled in the night breeze. In Beijing and the neighboring city, stars were seldom seen. Looking up, the night sky was an oppressive black, pressing in from all sides.

“Are you happy?”

“What?” Lin Xi was startled, turning her head when he spoke.

“Were you happy abroad?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Are you happy?” He was uncharacteristically persistent, repeating the question until he got an answer. After a while, he gave a defeated laugh: “After leaving me, you’ve been happy these years, haven’t you?”

At that moment, Lin Xi was certain—Qin Yu was truly drunk.

If he were sober, he would never act like this. He would never speak in this tone, ask such questions, or look at her with such longing, calling her Xi Xi.

She lifted her head, not thinking twice before replying perfunctorily, “Yes, I’m happy—of course I’m happy.”