Volume 1, Chapter 5: She Cannot Come Anymore

I have not been home for the past few days.

Bo Congnan’s life has descended into complete disarray, and even his breakfasts are reduced to a few hurried bites.

His tone, as he spoke, was clearly laced with blame.

"Shen Zhiyi, you..."

Bo Congnan stopped in his tracks; I was nowhere to be found in the hospital room.

I followed his gaze and saw Meng Xiangyi chatting and laughing with a nurse. At the sight of Bo Congnan, they both fell silent and turned their heads toward the doorway.

Once Bo Congnan recognized who was there, his expression shifted.

He feigned composure as he entered. "Sister Xiangyi, why are you here?"

Meng Xiangyi smiled. "Today is a significant day for Father’s discharge; I had to be here." She paused, then asked, "You mentioned Zhiyi earlier—has she returned?"

Bo Congnan shook his head.

Meng Xiangyi glanced at the time. "It’s still early. Perhaps she’s stuck in traffic. Zhiyi is the most filial; she will surely return."

Bo Congnan’s eyes softened. This was the quality he admired most in Meng Xiangyi—her character could be both firm and gentle, unlike Shen Zhiyi, who was delicate, cold, and prone to throwing tantrums at the slightest dissatisfaction.

I stood by the window, gazing at the swirling snow outside, deep sorrow clouding my eyes.

Bo Congnan, I have been dead for so long—why have you not realized it yet?

...

Bo Congnan was destined for disappointment. By the time Shen Yikang finished his final check-up, I had still not appeared.

Sitting in his wheelchair, Shen Yikang sighed. "Congnan, Zhiyi is not like her sister. She has the temper of a child, so delicate and frail. You are a man; just swallow your pride and coax her a little. Once her temper cools, she’ll come back."

Although Shen Yikang treated me well enough, I knew that in his heart, I could never compare to Meng Xiangyi.

Bo Congnan pushed the wheelchair, ever respectful toward his elders. "I understand, Father. I will call her in a moment."

Fang Lanru appeared at the door in her white coat; as the hospital director, she had stopped by to check on Shen Yikang. She looked at the three of them, all prepared to leave. "Shen Zhiyi didn’t come?"

She scanned the room, finding no trace of me.

Fang Lanru looked at Shen Yikang with a sneer. "Look at this—this is your 'good' daughter. She’s been throwing a tantrum over some trivial matter for so long that she doesn't even show up when you’re discharged from the hospital. If it were up to me, I would have kicked her out of this house long ago. You insisted on keeping her, and now look—you’ve raised an ingrate!"

Back when Fang Lanru first discovered I was Shen Yikang’s illegitimate daughter, she had made such a scene that she nearly died trying to force me out of the Shen family. It was only after Shen Yikang consulted a master who predicted a great calamity for Meng Xiangyi that Fang Lanru reluctantly allowed me to stay.

Shen Yikang always lost his nerve whenever he faced Fang Lanru; after all, he was the one who had erred in the past.

"What good does it do to say all that now? You know what Zhiyi is like. She’s just extremely angry this time, she..."

Before he could finish, Meng Xiangyi spoke up, sounding self-reproachful. "Father, Mother, please stop arguing. It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t returned to the Shen family, none of this would have happened, and Zhiyi wouldn’t have left in a huff."

Hearing her blame herself, Bo Congnan’s face was filled with heartache. "Father, Mother, it is all my fault. I was the one who upset Zhiyi. I will call her right now and apologize."

I had always believed Bo Congnan was not the type to cater to others. I never expected to see such heartache on his face; he truly loved Meng Xiangyi. To defend her, he was even willing to apologize—something he had refused to do for me.

But, Bo Congnan, even if you apologize now, I cannot forgive you. Because I am already dead.

Bo Congnan pulled out his phone, ready to dial my number.

Fang Lanru interjected, "She hasn't given us a second thought, so why should we lower ourselves to be met with a cold shoulder? Congnan, you’ve done nothing wrong. Why apologize?"

Meng Xiangyi added, "Congnan, although I am very worried about Zhiyi, she is truly in the wrong this time. Father is being discharged, and she hasn't shown up—it’s simply inexcusable. You shouldn't apologize; it will only encourage her to be unreasonable in the future."

Bo Congnan was deeply swayed by Meng Xiangyi’s words. He hesitated, then abandoned the idea of apologizing.

I watched his hand, raised and then lowered, and the disappointment I felt was beyond words. A single, airy comment from Meng Xiangyi and Fang Lanru was enough to change his mind. It only served to prove how low my standing was in his heart, despite the many years of love and the bond of growing up together. He had once occupied such a vital place in my life.

Bo Congnan, how could you be so heartless?

Bo Congnan personally drove the Shen family home, where the family enjoyed a harmonious reunion dinner. At the table, Bo Congnan sat with Meng Xiangyi, the two of them laughing and talking. Shen Yikang and Fang Lanru were in high spirits. The family was so close-knit, as if I had never existed at all.

After the meal, during a break for a cigarette, Shen Yikang pulled Bo Congnan into a corner. "Even though Zhiyi was a bit excessive in her temper, not even coming for my discharge, she is still a young girl. It’s not safe for her to be out alone. You should still swallow your pride and tell her to come home."

Hearing Shen Yikang’s words, I felt no great emotion. Since I was a child, the love Shen Yikang gave me was always just enough—not enough to make me hate him, but not enough to make me love him either. While he would secretly give me pocket money, he gave ten times as much to Meng Xiangyi. Even when he took me out to eat, it had to be done in secret at small diners, whereas he took Meng Xiangyi to the finest restaurants with pride.

Bo Congnan flicked the ash from his cigarette. "I know, Father. My birthday is in a few days; she will definitely return."

Bo Congnan said this with absolute certainty. He possessed that confidence because we had grown up together, childhood sweethearts. I had accompanied him through nearly every birthday of his life, never once missing one. He knew full well that with my complicated family background, I remained cold toward the rest of the Shens, reserving my infinite tolerance only for him. By comparison, I might skip Shen Yikang’s discharge, but I could never skip his birthday.

Shen Yikang nodded. "That’s good. When the time comes, soften your attitude and say a few kind words."

Bo Congnan stubbed out his cigarette. "I will. I’ll talk to her."

He then pulled out his phone to answer a call.

A week later, Jiang Ze called Bo Congnan again.

Bo Congnan tossed his cigarette butt into the trash. "Hello? Has the busy man finally found time to call me?"

Jiang Ze had been busy dealing with a perverted serial killer case, working so hard he hadn't slept for days. Today, having finally cleared his schedule, he called Bo Congnan to catch up.

"The Jiang family is holding a banquet tomorrow. Are you coming?"

Bo Congnan subconsciously spun the lighter in his hand. "If you’re going, I’ll go. It’s been a while—shall we have a drink?"

"We can meet, but let’s skip the drinking; there are regulations." Jiang Ze’s work was specialized; unless absolutely necessary, he usually abstained from alcohol.

Bo Congnan clicked his tongue. "How boring."

"Right, remember to bring Zhiyi along. My mother managed to get another one of those jade necklaces she liked last time. Have her come and take a look."

Bo Congnan’s expression shifted. He said flatly, "She can’t come."

On the other end of the line, Jiang Ze frowned slightly. "Don't tell me... Zhiyi still hasn't come home?"